The Official Cabdrivers' Guide to Las Vegas Nevada brothels!

New! Click for 100's and 100's of Las Vegas Escorts!

4. CUSTOMER PROCEDURES

4.1 How do I get into the Chicken Ranch?

You will be standing at a white, metal fence with a gate. Press the button
to sound a bell inside the Chicken Ranch. Assuming you don't look drunk or
dangerous, the shift manager presses a switch inside that makes a buzzing
sound and unlocks the gate. Pull it open and proceed to the door, where the
shift manager greets you. (On rare occasions, a guard may greet you instead
if the shift manager is unavailable.)

If you are carrying any bags, briefcases, etc. they will have to be inspected
or left with the shift manager. You are not allowed to take weapons or
cameras into the Chicken Ranch.

4.2 What happens inside?

The shift manager asks you whether you wish to see the ladies. If you're
just there to buy souvenirs or want to visit the bar first, tell her now.
Otherwise, say yes!

(You might mention at this point that Blake Wilfong sent you. I very
much value the good will of the Chicken Ranch's management. But if you
forget in all the excitement, I certainly understand!)

The shift manager instructs you to take a seat on a couch in the parlor. She
presses another button that sounds a different bell signaling the ladies to
prepare for a lineup. Within a minute or two, they arrive in an adjoining
hallway.

"Ladies, please introduce yourselves," the shift manager says. The ladies
walk out from the hallway into the parlor, one by one. They are usually
attired in attractive evening dresses, but may be wearing lingerie or even
swimsuits--their dignity is rightfully protected, however; nothing too
revealing is permitted. As they enter, they smile at you and say, "Hi, I'm
(name)". When they finish lining up in front of you, the shift manager asks
you to select a lady. You will probably have at least half a dozen ladies to
choose from. (It's a wonderful experience, like being the judge in a beauty
contest, or a kid in a candy store!)

4.3 Can I party with two (or more) ladies?

Certainly! But I have never done this because it costs at least twice as
much as a "normal" party. If you think you might like to try it, ask the
shift manager for the correct procedure BEFORE the lineup.

4.4 I'm terrible with names! What do I do?

Don't feel bad; most customers can't remember all the ladies' names. It's
fine to say, "The second from the right," or "The lady in the blue dress."
But here is a way you can easily name the lady you want: As the first lady
comes out and introduces herself, memorize her name. Now, as the second lady
introduces herself, decide whether you'd rather party with her or the first
lady. If you want to party with the second lady, forget about the first lady
and memorize the second lady's name. Continue this process as the lineup
forms. This way, you only have to remember one name, the name of the most
attractive lady you have seen so far.

Don't feel bashful! Once the lineup is complete, go ahead and say who you
like! It is frustrating, uncomfortable, and awkward for the ladies to remain
on display for customers who are scared to make a selection, but I have seen
this happen time and again. Really, you have nothing to fear! And you can't
go wrong; most likely, ALL the ladies in the lineup are wonderful.

4.5 Do the ladies use their real names?

Here are the names of the ladies I have partied with at the Chicken Ranch:

Andrea Annette Brandy* Brenda Bridget Cherie
Christy Corrine Delilah Denise Emerald Heather
Joey Judy Julie Karleen Karen Katlin
Kiana Kuhlina Lily Lynn Michelle Misty
Nikki Paula Sabrina Sam Shanna Tiffany
Traci

* Three of the ladies I've partied with called themselves "Brandy"!

Obviously, many of the ladies use "stage names", but some do use their actual
first names. One thing is certain: the ladies do not reveal their true full
names to customers.

4.6 Could you recommend the best ladies?

No. Due to ordinary turnover, most of the ladies with whom I have
partied no longer work at the Chicken Ranch. Again, the consistently high
quality of the ladies at the Chicken Ranch ensures that you will
almost certainly be pleased with ANY of them.

4.7 What if I don't find any of the ladies attractive?

This is highly unlikely. Some of the Chicken Ranch's ladies are so beautiful
that it's hard to understand what they're doing in a brothel; they should be
models! (Actually, some of the ladies I've partied with HAVE done modeling.)
But if you REALLY want to back out now, at least do so gracefully. Turn to
the shift manager and say something like, "The ladies are all lovely, but I
don't see what I'm looking for. Thank you for your time." They'll remember
you as a true gentleman!

4.8 What happens after I choose a lady?

The lady will take you to her room. It's small but comfortable, with one
chair, a dresser, a bed, a table, a window, and a closet. Many of the ladies
have televisions and VCRs, along with portable stereos. Sometimes there is a
bookcase with books and magazines. There may be tasteful paintings or prints
hanging on the walls, or a wall or the ceiling may be mirrored. The walls
(if not mirrored) are wood paneled, and the rooms are well lit and very
clean. Most of the rooms have very nice adjoining bathrooms, which are
shared with one other room. These living conditions are far superior to the
dark, cramped cells at some of the other area brothels.

The lady will sit next to you on her bed and ask what you would like to do.
She may show you a menu, complete with staggering prices. Again, there's no
need to be bashful; talking about sex is part of this lady's job! Tell her
exactly and explicitly what you want to do and you'll receive a party more to
your liking. At this point, the lady will state a price or ask how much you
have in mind spending.

4.9 How much will my party cost?

This depends on many factors: the individual lady, the services you want her
to provide, your bargaining abilities, your appearance and demeanor, etc.

The ladies are "independent contractors". This means that, to a limit, each
sets her own prices. Some ladies charge more than others, though competition
tends to keep their prices in line.

The "house minimum" at the Chicken Ranch is $100. For that, you receive oral
or hand sex only, and your party will last no more than half an hour. A
"straight lay" or "half-and-half", including more time and some real
foreplay, usually runs $200 to $400. Many more options exist for those who
can afford them. Some customers have paid thousands of dollars for
extravagant parties involving extended stays, acting out fantasies, etc.

Prices are generally negotiable even if they're written on a menu. Often,
you can get a reduced rate simply by asking nicely or saying you can't spend
as much as the lady is requesting. The lady may also suggest modifications
to your party to reduce the price. Be flexible and try to reach a compromise
that both of you find acceptable.

If the lady persists in demanding more than you think is reasonable, stand up
and say you'd like to try someone else. There's a good chance that the lady
you've chosen will come around at this point and hastily lower her price
rather than lose the sale altogether. If not, let her escort you back out to
the parlor. Ask the shift manager for a lineup of ladies who would be more
willing to give you a party in your price range. No matter what happens,
don't get angry; you and the lady have simply "agreed to disagree".

Always bear in mind that the ladies are people. They dislike (and will
probably demand more money from) customers who are mean, drunk, smelly, or
shabbily dressed. Furthermore, if you go out of your way to be nice to the
lady during the party, she'll probably spend more time with you, possibly
even cuddling and talking with you after the sex is over.

If you are a return customer, it is usually easier to work out a good price
and receive a better party from the lady. The ladies prefer repeat business:
it's less stressful, there are fewer surprises, and they know you really like
them. You may also receive the same benefits from ladies with whom you have
never partied before if you have already established a good reputation at the
Chicken Ranch.

4.10 How long does a party last? Can I buy time, say 2 hours, instead?

I can generally purchase a straight lay for $200 (but I am reasonably good-
looking, friendly, and an excellent haggler). My parties at this price have
lasted from 30 minutes to 3 hours (the latter is VERY unusual), depending on
how well the lady and I "clicked". 45 minutes to an hour is about average.

Sometimes, the ladies take the presence of an erection as an indication that
you're ready to have sex. If you feel you're being rushed through the
foreplay too quickly, say so. If you ask nicely, most of the ladies will
give you more time (within reasonable limits, of course). In fact, the
Chicken Ranch's management has been known to instruct the ladies to spend
more time with their customers. Contrast this generous policy with that
of some other Las Vegas area brothels where they actually have timers
outside each room to make sure parties don't take too long!

Many of the ladies say they sell by the act, not by time. But some of them
can be persuaded to sell you time, especially if they already know you're
easy to get along with (by reputation or from previous parties). Though you
may be able to find a lady willing to sell long parties for as little as $100
an hour, most of the ladies will want more, perhaps $200 an hour.

4.11 What forms of payment does the Chicken Ranch accept?

Cash and travelers' cheques. They also have an ATM machine so you can use
a credit card--but you'll have to pay a cash advance fee and your credit
card's interest rate.

4.12 Enough about the money! Are we ready to have sex now?

The lady will ask you to drop your pants, but don't get excited--she wants
to inspect you. She will check for sores, venereal warts, chancres, puss
discharges, pubic lice, etc. You will be sent on your way if you don't pass
inspection.

Next, you pay the lady. She will take the money and leave the room. She
hands over the money to the shift manager and tells her what kind of party
you will be having. Meanwhile, you can go ahead and get undressed.

Do NOT wait under the bed covers! In most cases, the lady will want to party
with you on towels or a bedspread ON TOP of the bed covers.

When the lady returns, she'll wash your genitals, take her clothes off, and
start the fun!

4.13 Are there any rules I should be aware of?

No kissing on the mouth; it spreads germs. No sticking fingers inside the
lady's orifices. Condoms are absolutely required for both oral and vaginal
sex. No anal sex is allowed.

4.14 Do I have to worry about my belongings being stolen during the party?

The Chicken Ranch is not a "clip joint". On numerous occasions, I have left
my wallet, money belt, etc. unattended in a lady's room while I went to take
a shower, visit a jacuzzi, party in a VIP room, or go swimming in the pool
with the lady. Nothing was stolen.

Here's why: The Chicken Ranch frequently conducts random searches of the
ladies' rooms. If money is found, the lady is immediately expelled because
an excess of cash means the lady is either stealing or is concealing some of
her earnings from the Chicken Ranch. (The lady is also fired if drugs are
found, by the way.) The room searches are reputed to be EXTREMELY thorough;
ergo, the ladies know it's foolish to steal from customers.

4.15 Will we have total privacy during our party?

Usually, but not always. There are no locks on many of the doors; another
lady may blunder in, especially from a shared bathroom. (She may even be
undressed!) Usually, she will excuse herself and leave immediately. Other
ladies may see you in a towel or robe if you leave your lady's room to take a
shower, visit a jacuzzi, etc. during a party. Don't feel embarrassed; it's
just part of the experience!

If you visit the swimming pool with a lady, you may get to see other ladies
sunbathing nude on the deck! As you might have guessed, they're not very
modest...

4.16 What happens when we're done?

The lady will remove your condom and wash your genitals again. Then you'll
both get dressed and she'll escort you back to the parlor. She will say
goodbye, then go to fetch the shift manager, who will let you out the door
and buzz you back out of the front gate.

4.17 Am I expected to tip the lady?

Some of the ladies have signs in their rooms saying that tipping is
appreciated. A few may even go so far as to ask you for a tip. In general,
the ladies do not appear to take offense if you do not tip, however. Here is
my own policy: tip only when the service is exceptional (e.g., an unusually
long party, or particularly creative foreplay). If I do tip, I make it at
least 10% of the cost of the party.

4.18 Can I get a refund if I'm dissatisfied?

The Chicken Ranch would usually only give a refund if the lady refused or
was somehow unable to perform the agreed-on act. But if you have ANY cause
to be dissatisfied, tell the shift manager. If the complaint is serious, she
may summon her supervisor, who will probably thank you for bringing the
problem to his attention and take steps to prevent a recurrence. Out of
33 ladies with whom I have partied, only one has ever given me cause to
complain. (The lady in question performed the acts requested, but was
openly disdainful of me. Other customers who rode on the limousine with
me reported having similar experiences with her.) The other 32 ladies
were all delightful!

Also, you won't receive a refund if YOU are unable to perform. The ladies
are very understanding and will usually try a second time (in the same
session) for free. You will not get a third try without paying more money.
So don't drink beforehand or do anything else (ahem) that might interfere
with your performance at the Chicken Ranch.

Find escorts and strippers nation-wide at AssLass Escorts search engine!

Looking for even more information? Use our exclusive Las Vegas search engine for the "Best Vegas on the Net"!

Find escorts and strippers nation-wide at AssLass Escorts search engine!

711Vegas search engine for a ton of great Las Vegas links!

Travel
- las vegas hotels
- las vegas air fare
- las vegas car rental
- las vegas travel packages

Gambling
- online casinos
- casinos
- las vegas casinos
- blackjack
- slot machines
- craps
- video poker
- roulette

Las Vegas (misc)
 - las vegas golf
- las vegas tours
- las vegas weather- las vegas jobs
- las vegas dining
- las vegas weddings

Dating
- las vegas escorts
- las vegas singles

Las Vegas Entertainment
- las vegas shows
las vegas real estate
- las vegas apartments

More sites from the Hack Attack's "Cabby":
travel airfare airlines  air airports
hotels car rentals cruises
las vegas

"Liquid" sites:
accounts
discounts
gambling
insurance
investing
interest
offshore
trust

Sports
sports
golf
nfl football

Escorts
liquid las vegas
escorts
atlanta escorts
california escorts
canada escorts
florida escorts
las vegas escorts
new york escorts
texas escorts
chicago escorts